Comments on: Single Men in Scene Spaces: How do you feel about “wankers”? http://conversiovirium.org/2007/05/16/single-men-in-scene-spaces-how-do-you-feel-about-wankers/ New York City’s Student BDSM Education Group Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:08:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: maymay http://conversiovirium.org/2007/05/16/single-men-in-scene-spaces-how-do-you-feel-about-wankers/comment-page-1/#comment-730 maymay Thu, 02 Aug 2007 17:45:46 +0000 http://maymay.net/conversiovirium/2007/05/16/single-men-in-scene-spaces-how-do-you-feel-about-wankers/#comment-730 <blockquote>I didn’t mind it at first because he was polite but it became clear that his brain was on overload and all he saw was tits and ass since he didn’t recognize our faces.</blockquote> This man may not have been a "wanker" but his actions were just the same. The problem with both of these sorts of people is that they treat others without due respect. If he didn't even remember your faces but kept asking to get trampled, he wasn't treating you or your sub as people, but rather as objects in a sad and fruitless attempt to satisfy his own kink. That's not the kind of person I want in my play spaces, period. He can go home and <a href="http://maybemaimed.blogspot.com/2007/08/your-fantasy-is-not-reality-and-you.html" title="My opinions on pretending fantasy is reality and why it's stupid." rel="nofollow">fantasize about treating other people as dominant objects</a> all he likes, but he has no right to do that to me or my friends in reality.

I didn’t mind it at first because he was polite but it became clear that his brain was on overload and all he saw was tits and ass since he didn’t recognize our faces.

This man may not have been a “wanker” but his actions were just the same. The problem with both of these sorts of people is that they treat others without due respect. If he didn’t even remember your faces but kept asking to get trampled, he wasn’t treating you or your sub as people, but rather as objects in a sad and fruitless attempt to satisfy his own kink.

That’s not the kind of person I want in my play spaces, period. He can go home and fantasize about treating other people as dominant objects all he likes, but he has no right to do that to me or my friends in reality.

]]> By: Topm http://conversiovirium.org/2007/05/16/single-men-in-scene-spaces-how-do-you-feel-about-wankers/comment-page-1/#comment-704 Topm Wed, 01 Aug 2007 15:04:25 +0000 http://maymay.net/conversiovirium/2007/05/16/single-men-in-scene-spaces-how-do-you-feel-about-wankers/#comment-704 Being a single man in the community, wankers really bug me. Because of them I am excluded from attending some events and that can be annoying if it is something that I really wanted to check out. Even when I wasn’t single the thought of a guy getting uncomfortable close to my sub and me was very unappealing. We went to this same club three weekends in a row once and the same guy asked my sub to trample him each and every time opening up the conversation with a little speech about how he offers up a form of entertainment for the ladies by letting them jump up and down on him. The first two time I told him no thanks because he was polite but the third time I snapped at him, informing him he comes up to us every time we are there. I didn’t mind it at first because he was polite but it became clear that his brain was on overload and all he saw was tits and ass since he didn’t recognize our faces. He wasn’t even a wanker and I found it annoying. That being said I have heard time and again that the wankers pay the bills that keep the clubs open and are a necessary evil. I wouldn’t go so far as calling them evil but if they are necessary and/or people want to welcome all kinks including theirs, then perhaps well-designed playspaces can accommodate everyone. Have clearly defined boundaries that people cannot cross while a scene is taking place. A velvet rope, one way mirrored wall….. Something so that the people playing feel safe and comfortable inside that space and people outside that space can still watch the scene. Just my two cents Thomas Being a single man in the community, wankers really bug me. Because of them I am excluded from attending some events and that can be annoying if it is something that I really wanted to check out.

Even when I wasn’t single the thought of a guy getting uncomfortable close to my sub and me was very unappealing. We went to this same club three weekends in a row once and the same guy asked my sub to trample him each and every time opening up the conversation with a little speech about how he offers up a form of entertainment for the ladies by letting them jump up and down on him. The first two time I told him no thanks because he was polite but the third time I snapped at him, informing him he comes up to us every time we are there. I didn’t mind it at first because he was polite but it became clear that his brain was on overload and all he saw was tits and ass since he didn’t recognize our faces. He wasn’t even a wanker and I found it annoying.

That being said I have heard time and again that the wankers pay the bills that keep the clubs open and are a necessary evil. I wouldn’t go so far as calling them evil but if they are necessary and/or people want to welcome all kinks including theirs, then perhaps well-designed playspaces can accommodate everyone. Have clearly defined boundaries that people cannot cross while a scene is taking place. A velvet rope, one way mirrored wall….. Something so that the people playing feel safe and comfortable inside that space and people outside that space can still watch the scene.

Just my two cents
Thomas

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