Single Men in Scene Spaces: How do you feel about “wankers”?

Published on May 16, 2007 at 8:40 AM by tyler | Filed under BDSM in the Media, Posts |

In a rare moment of leisure, I sat down to catch up on my reading this morning. Tristan Taormino, who some of you may remember from my countless outbreaks of praise, as well as Sexhibition a few weeks ago, wrote a thoughtful article in the Village Voice addressing an issue I have had mixed feelings about: the treatment and exclusion of single men in public scene and sex spaces.

If you have a moment, check out the article and share with us your feelings. Do you agree that it is a problem that single men are treated with suspicion because it puts a limit on the sexual freedom we promote, or on the other hand, is it a necessary evil which must be tolerated in order for others to feel comfortable in these public spaces?

If CV were to organize a club event, this is an issue that would have to be settled, and I have heard strong feelings on both sides of this argument. Feel free to comment here with your thoughts.

(Do you know of a news item that you don’t see mentioned in our archives and want to share? Please send it in! Or even better, send us your own opinions.)

2 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. Being a single man in the community, wankers really bug me. Because of them I am excluded from attending some events and that can be annoying if it is something that I really wanted to check out.

    Even when I wasn’t single the thought of a guy getting uncomfortable close to my sub and me was very unappealing. We went to this same club three weekends in a row once and the same guy asked my sub to trample him each and every time opening up the conversation with a little speech about how he offers up a form of entertainment for the ladies by letting them jump up and down on him. The first two time I told him no thanks because he was polite but the third time I snapped at him, informing him he comes up to us every time we are there. I didn’t mind it at first because he was polite but it became clear that his brain was on overload and all he saw was tits and ass since he didn’t recognize our faces. He wasn’t even a wanker and I found it annoying.

    That being said I have heard time and again that the wankers pay the bills that keep the clubs open and are a necessary evil. I wouldn’t go so far as calling them evil but if they are necessary and/or people want to welcome all kinks including theirs, then perhaps well-designed playspaces can accommodate everyone. Have clearly defined boundaries that people cannot cross while a scene is taking place. A velvet rope, one way mirrored wall….. Something so that the people playing feel safe and comfortable inside that space and people outside that space can still watch the scene.

    Just my two cents
    Thomas

    Comment by Topm — August 1, 2007 #

  2. I didn’t mind it at first because he was polite but it became clear that his brain was on overload and all he saw was tits and ass since he didn’t recognize our faces.

    This man may not have been a “wanker” but his actions were just the same. The problem with both of these sorts of people is that they treat others without due respect. If he didn’t even remember your faces but kept asking to get trampled, he wasn’t treating you or your sub as people, but rather as objects in a sad and fruitless attempt to satisfy his own kink.

    That’s not the kind of person I want in my play spaces, period. He can go home and fantasize about treating other people as dominant objects all he likes, but he has no right to do that to me or my friends in reality.

    Comment by maymay — August 2, 2007 #

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

The opinions and views expressed on this web site are the beliefs of the Conversio Virium club member who wrote them and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of other members or affiliated organizations.

Unless otherwise noted, all original content on this site is protected under an Attribution Non-Commercial No-Derivs 3.0 Unported license and is hereby copyright © 2007–2009 by Conversio Virium and its contributors.

Powered by WordPress with Pool theme design by Borja Fernandez and modified by Meitar Moscovitz of Maymay Media.
Entries and comments feeds. Valid XHTML and CSS. ^Top^